Secrets
by AOUnleashed
Summary: Olivia has a secret she is hiding from Alex. Will it ruin there relationship? When Olivia gets in trouble what will happen? Read Secrets
1. Chapter 1

A knock came to the young sixteen year olds' door. She was waiting for her father to come home so she can finally give him a hug from his big trip. She hasn't seen him in two weeks and yearned to be under the protection of her father's arms. He was her only family, and it's not like her mom wanted her anyways. I mean even though her mom couldn't really take care of her, she still felt hatred toward the mother she never knew. The worse is carrying her mom's name…well at least half her name.

Her father was a businessman. He was strong willed and very energetic for his age of 42.

"Police! Open up!" spoke a man's voice from outside her door.

She now was alert and got up to open the door. "Hi, officer. I really don't think I have done anything wrong. Ms. Stringer is an elderly woman who thinks that teenagers party all the time." The young girl spoke with pride, because for the first time she _wasn't_ doing anything wrong, which was strange to her.

The officers nodded, "I'm not here for a call a neighbor made, Ms. Matthews," The officers sighed and shook his head. "May I come in?" The officer signaled his partner in. "I'm Officer Ron and," He pointed at the woman shyly smiling at the 16 year old, "That's Officer Jackie, her first time on the job."

"Nice, to meet you both. I just would like to tell you that my dad doesn't like when strangers enter our home. He's coming any time now." She showed them the living room and she sat on the couch nonchalantly.

"I don't think…your father is not coming." Although being an aged officer he could never get himself to just tell people the horrible news.

The girl sat up confused. "What do you mean he's not coming? Did he get arrested?" The young girl eyed the officers. She could feel something was wrong, but she couldn't think like that.

"I'm sorry. Your Father died in a car accident" The man flushed red all over his cheeks and ears.

The sixteen year old heard the words, but she couldn't cry, not in front of them. Her dad wouldn't want her to cry would he? Without her knowing a tear drop fell down her cheek and she frantically wiped it before any of the cops could see.

In school, she was as popular as one could get. She was known for her toughness, and that's how she should be right now, tough.

"It's ok to cry." The woman cop started to come towards her but stopped as the girl scooted to the right side of the couch.

The sixteen year old was also known for her smart-ass comments and disrespecting authority. "I know I can cry. That's the stupidest thing I heard a cop say_. 'It's ok to cry,'_" she mocked the officer. "No shit." She mumbled.

One thing she knew was that she hid behind that badass façade to hide her true self, and that _true self_ was never going to come out now, not ever.

"Ok. Do you have family around here?" The woman cop asked with a hint of hesitance in her voice.

"No, my dad's an only child and his parents died…so, no! I have no one. I don't care," The girl shrugged, " I want to live by myself." The young girl glared at the cops.

She is trying too hard, at this point, not to break down crying.

"You know we can't consent to that. Do you have a mother?" The male cop responded. He knew they were not getting anywhere with Jackie speaking to this kid.

"My Mother?" the tears started flowing out of her and she couldn't stop them. Her anger came to a peak. She had to tell the cops about her beloved mother. "My mother was a scared sixteen year old who gave me to my dad to raise, because she couldn't do it. She is probably somewhere partying her ass off having fun. She never visited me for birthdays or fuck…I'm crying…I am supposed to stay strong…why the fuck me…why?" She looked at the officer's through her clouded tears.

"Things like this happen all the time. We just have to move on, and who knows maybe we can find your mom if you'd like. She is hitting her 30's and she is probably settled down. This would be a good time to come into her life." The male officer sincerely replied.

The young girl nodded. The officer told her to come with them so they can take her to the station. Before they left the house, the female officer took her hand and told her not to be afraid.

"Is there a name we can go on so it can be easier to find you mother?" the woman asked walking the girl to the car.

"My dad told me…um…he named me after her, but I'm Liv, but you can call me Sarah, my middle name. My mom's name is Olivia, Olivia Benson." The young girl entered the cop car and they drove to the station.

* * *

Alex woke up in the middle of the night to see Olivia's side of the bed void. She grumbled and headed towards the living room.

Olivia was sleeping peacefully on the couch in front of the open TV. Alex slipped the remote out of Olivia's grasp and clicked the TV off.

Alex then sat on the couch and shook Olivia lightly, "Liv. Liv, wake up. Come to bed."

Olivia mumbled something inaudible and pulled down Alex to lay with her.

"No, Liv, you have to get to bed or else you'll be too sore for work." Alex shook Olivia once again.

"I hate you." Olivia mumbled. She got up and walked to the bed with Alex trailing behind her.

As each settled in, Alex snuggled next to her girlfriend and fell asleep.

**5 hours later**

Alex and Olivia were stunned by the noisy alarm clock.

_Its 8:03 in the morning and you know what Wendy?_

_What?_

_We have a great show for our viewers today on automobile accidents. One special story really hurts my heart as a young girl, whose father died yesterday night, tries to find her long lost mother, who, at this time is being tracked down by the FBI._

_Wow, please send your prayers to this young girl._

Olivia hit her hand on the alarm clock, "I _hate_ morning shows."

"Me too." Alex mumbled on Olivia's chest. She looked up at Olivia and gave her a peck on the cheek.

"We need to head off to work." Olivia stated getting off the bed.

"That girl must be scared." Alex stated out of the blue.

"Huh?" Olivia answered with confusion written all over her face.

"The girl on the radio, she must be scared." Alex sat up.

Olivia shook her head. "It suck's."

With that, they both continued their daily routine. Olivia had a cup of coffee waiting for Alex.

"Thank you." Alex grabbed her cup and sat on the stool with Olivia.

"We have some time on our hands. Let's get to know each other's deepest darkest secrets." Alex smiled.

"Uhm…I think I'll pass." Olivia smiled taking a sip of her coffee.

"Babe, it would be fun. Look, I will go first. When I was 19 I slept with a guy every other day so I can prove to myself that I was straight. I just wanted to be like everyone else, you know. People who were normal were straight, I couldn't think about sleeping with a girl without feeling like I was watched…" tears made their way down Alex's eyes. She told Olivia her craziest and deepest secret. "I'm sorry," She stated wiping her tears, "I have more, but you go."

Olivia had only one and no one knew about it, I mean no one. Not even Elliot. She repressed it in her mind. Should she tell Alex? "I actually don't have one," Olivia shrugged and sipped her coffee nonchalantly.

"Come on, Liv, every does." Alex smiled nudging Olivia with her elbow.

Olivia thought, _what the hell, I'll tell her half the story and skip the rest. _"Ok. When I was 16, I fell in love with a man 10 years older than me. I loved him so much. He had to be the longest relationship I had with a man. We had to break up because of our age and a few other problems but, I never hated him, never." Olivia shook her head and sipped her coffee.

Although it was a nice story, Alex wasn't convinced that was all. "Come on, Liv. You are holding out on me."

Olivia opened her mouth to answer when her phone rang.

"Hey, look, you pick that up and I'll head out to work. See you later." Alex kissed Olivia on the cheek and left through the front door.

_Ring. Ring. _

"I'm coming, I'm coming," Olivia mumbled to herself.

"Benson." Olivia grabbed her keys, badge, and gun.

"Hello, this is Agent Torres-Mayorga speaking. I want to inform you that we have been looking for you." The agent had a husky voice.

"Looking for me? For what? I'm not going undercover so you can forget about that." Olivia opened the door to her car.

The man chuckled. She had to be Sarah's mom. "I don't mean to scare you, but do you know that you have a daughter?"

Olivia swallowed hard, "Y…Yea." _What is going on?_ Olivia thought.

"She is with me. You are the only family she has. Her father died in a car accident. Chris Matthews." The agent paused.

A tear made its way down Olivia's cheek. She hadn't seen or heard that name, on what felt like ages, and it affected her.

"When is the best time to take her to you?" The agent automatically assuming Olivia was going to take her daughter.

"Wha…what…no…no…send her somewhere else…" Olivia knew she was rejecting her _own_ daughter, but all she could think about was herself, her life, all will crumble because of this mistake. That was the reason why she let Chris raise her, because she wasn't fit and she was too young, far too young.

Right now…right now, she's not too young. She's settled and about year ago she found love.

"Oh, sorry. Wow, you are still afraid, huh?" the agent stated on the other line.

"Afraid…more like pissed. I left him with her so he can provide a family, and he…he…he dies…what am I supposed to do? I am happy. I don't like change." Olivia felt more tears climbing out of her eyes.

"I know what you mean. Liv doesn't like change either. She has been fighting us ever since we told her father died." The agent sighed, "Thanks for talking though."

Olivia knew how it felt to be abandoned especially by her alcoholic mother. "No, when is the soonest she can come."

* * *

**AN: Review if you want more**


	2. Chapter 2

Olivia was alone in this and she will have to explain why she has a sixteen year old in her house. She stopped the car and entered in her apartment. She had an extra room that Liv could live in, thank God.

Olivia couldn't get over the fact that Chris named their daughter after her. _Has it really been sixteen years?_ Olivia was dialing Cragen's number.

Ring. Ring.

"Captain Don Cragen." Cragen stated with his usual gruff voice.

"Hey, Captain, uh, something came up, and I'm going to need some days off," Olivia hated this more than anything. She felt as if without her, the victims that come running in the precinct without a woman to help them.

Cragen jumped at the chance. These last few days were especially stressful for Olivia. All the rapist's that they caught got a _get out of card_ because of a mistrial. "Yea, you do. So don't come in today…and if you want to talk…"

"I'm more than fine Captain." Olivia grinned.

"Alright, see you in…let's see..5 days enough for you?"

"Yes. Great! Thank you captain." Olivia shut the phone. _ One down, _she thought.

Minutes later she heard a knock on her door. She breathed in and headed towards the door.

She opened the door and saw Liv and an Agent. "Hey, I talked to you on the phone. This is Liv Matthews. Your daughter."

Liv glared at him.

"Sorry. This is Sarah."

Olivia couldn't believe this girl was her daughter. Sarah, looked like the splitting image of Chris except those eyes were hers and Sarah's hair was her hair color. Olivia smiled and stretched her arm out to Liv. The girl stared at Olivia and Olivia retreats her hand. "Ok, come in."

The agent did not enter looking at his phone, "Sorry, detective, I must go."

Olivia had a smirk, "I know it happens all the time."

Olivia watched the man walk away and shut the door.

"I don't know how we can do this but…"

"Look, I don't like this situation as much as you do. I have to live here for two more years then I'm gone. Whoosh, out of your life." Sarah acted all-high and mighty so no one with try to walk over her.

Olivia nodded not knowing how to really take things in. She knew this girl was hurt and today wasn't the day to get through to her. "Look we can talk later. Your room is the one to the right." Olivia pointed as the girl trotted towards the room and shut the door behind her.

Olivia shook her head. From all her experience in Special Victims she felt helpless in this.

**Precinct **

It was around one in the afternoon. Alex made her way up the elevators. Today has been a long day and all she wanted to do was to see Olivia at work. She exited the elevators and went into the bull pen.

She noticed Olivia wasn't in her seat and approached Elliot who was working diligently at his desk.

"Good Afternoon, Detective." She strutted herself towards Elliot.

"Hey, counselor," Elliot smiled, "What makes you drop by today?" Elliot wondered. Olivia was out and it is weird to see Alex in the precinct if Olivia wasn't.

Alex chuckled, "I was supposed to meet Olivia here. Where is she by the way?" Alex inquired.

Elliot found this rather odd. "She didn't come in today…I automatically assumed…Cragen told me she is on vacation for five days. That's weird…wouldn't she tell at least you what she was doing…" Elliot felt that he had to get to the bottom of things.

"You are right. She hasn't called me either." Alex stated taking her phone out and called Olivia.

"Hey Alex, I was just about to call you." Olivia stated with glee.

"Yea, you aren't at work and…why did you take five days off?" Alex started heading towards the hallway to get more private.

"Oh, I…something came up. We have to cancel today, rain check for Thursday?" Olivia asked. She didn't want Alex knowing this part of her life, but Alex did have to know.

"Thursday? That's three days Olivia. I can't see you for three days? What came up that is so much more important than us?" Alex leaned on the wall.

Olivia was already irritated. "Look, I just have to take care of something and then we can have our fun. I have to go."

Alex shut the phone off dumbfounded. She wanted to know desperately what Olivia had on her mind and what she was hiding, however Alex knew how Olivia liked her personal space so she will stop pushing, _for now_.

Alex headed back to Elliot.

"So?" Elliot turned his chair around to look at Alex.

"So, something came up and I can't see her for 3 days. I accepted." Alex sighed, "At least she is ok."

Elliot nodded. _Olivia must be in trouble, _he thought.

"Elliot, please don't act all over protective on her. You know how she gets." Alex warned. She knew what Elliot was thinking and even though she agreed it wasn't their place to intrude on someone else's life, even if it was their friend or girlfriend.

"But…" Elliot retreated as he felt Alex's glare upon him.

"Alright, I have to get back to the office then." Alex walked back down the elevators and stood for it to come.

**Olivia's Apartment**

Olivia decided to cook for Sarah. She guessed that the poor girl hasn't eaten since she heard her father died.

When Olivia would pass by Sarah's room she would hear her talking on the phone. Olivia wanted to know more about her, but that was not going to happen with Sarah.

Olivia made chicken noodle soup and placed the bowl on the dining table. Olivia headed toward Sarah's door and knocked. "Hey, I made some food. I don't know if you are hungry or anything."

Sarah opened the door and had a pissed off face on. "I am not hungry. I ate. By the way, what high school am I going to?" Sarah glared at Olivia.

Olivia dealt with this type of teen before. The ones who think that they are top dog and can get away with anything. It was Olivia's specialty to crack through to them.

"I actually haven't looked into that. You can choose the school if you would like." Olivia gave her infamous crooked smile.

Sarah gnawed her gum like a cow. She handed Olivia a paper. "The agents took the liberty to sign me up to this school. They told me to give you this paper. I actually hoped you were responsible, but I guess you are not so I guess I'm stuck with that school." Sarah rolled her eyes.

"Look, after school, tomorrow, we need to talk…about everything. So, I am giving you a chance to relax now. Tomorrow, not so much." Olivia smiled and walked towards the kitchen.

Sarah stared at her and went into her room.

Her room wasn't as small as she expected, but it was smaller than her old one. She decorated everything and tried to make it feel like home, to no avail. It _will_ never be home.

She was smart yet never had the need to express it. She also loved chicken noodle soup and she was starving.

When she found out Olivia was a cop, she decided that she would keep her distance from this so called _mother_.

It was getting to be seven thirty pm and she felt tired.

Tomorrow is a big day. She fell asleep.

**AN: Reviews would be nice…**


	3. Chapter 3

Sarah woke up early to take a shower and dressed up for school. She wore a short skirt, a halter top stopping barely above her belly button, and stilettos. She grabbed her purse and shoved pens and paper in it and headed out the door, but not before Olivia had something to say about it.

"What are you wearing?" Olivia rubbed her eyes. She just had woken up from all the shuffling.

"My uniform. I am going to be late." Sarah rolled her eyes and continued out the door.

"First of all, you don't know where the school is and second of all, I don't think _that_ is appropriate for school." Olivia shook her head at Liv.

"The Agents took the liberty to show me the school." Sarah spat. "and _you_ are not my mother! Don't tell me what to do! You weren't there for me and you don't have to be now!" With that Sarah shut the door behind her and walked towards the elevators.

Olivia was left in shock. She knew she needed help with this, but concluded it was just going to make things worse.

Olivia head off to make coffee. She sat on her couch and slowly drifted into sleep. I was actually a 7 minute nap. She heard knocking on her door.

"Olivia! It's Alex." Alex knocked once again.

Olivia finally realized where she was and headed towards the door.

Olivia opened the door, "Alex, I told you… rain check for Thursday. What are you doing here?" Olivia rubbed her eye and yawned.

"I was in the neighborhood…" Olivia gave Alex the '_yea right'_ face. "Ok, I was worried. You don't take time off work and I wondered…"

Alex was such a worry wart. She never let anything go. Olivia hugged Alex and let her in. Olivia decided, _Hey, Sarah is going to be at school and_ _everything will be great _Olivia thought.

Alex sat on the couch. "So, why did you take five days off?" Alex asked as Olivia made her way to the couch.

Olivia sat and shrugged, "I needed it."

"Liv, I know you all too well and you don't take a vacation day, let alone five of them." Alex glared at Olivia suspiciously.

"Look, I just wanted to rest. So leave it." Olivia stated more harshly than she intended.

Alex nodded. She understood that when Olivia didn't want to talk about something, she should try later.

"Well, I am off for work. I thought I could pass by to tell you I love you." Alex stood up and softly planted a kiss on Olivia's forehead and exited the home as Olivia stood to walk her out.

Olivia walked straight into her kitchen and realized there was barely any food, and decided to go to the grocery store. She brought a couple items just to stalk the refrigerator, and a couple for dinner.

On her way back home, she becomes conscious of the time. Most students in high school get out around this time. She decided she was going to do something nice for Sarah and drove to the parent-teacher parking lot. She immediately noticed her daughter. She was alone, starting to walk the opposite way from Olivia's apartment.

Olivia drove slowly forward to catch up to her. Olivia rolled down the passenger seat window, "Hey," Olivia spoke to catch Sarah attention and once she got it she continued, "I thought I could spare you the trouble of walking home."

Sarah continued walking. "You thought wrong."

Olivia drove up slowly. "Well, you need to get in the car. We need to talk, might as well get over with it right now."

Sarah stared at her. She realized Olivia wasn't going to just drive away. She opened the door to the car and slides in the back seat.

Olivia smiled to herself.

After a few awkward silent minutes, Sarah spoke, "I just want you to know I hate you." She leaned back on the seat and shut her eyes.

"I can't say I like you either. You are rebellious as me when I was your age. You think you got everything figured out?" Olivia rhetorically asked.

Sarah stayed quiet for a second, "I am not like you and I will never be. I have enough experience to live on my own. You don't know me." Sarah snaps back.

"I don't, but I know enough about you to know that you are hurting and you are just covering it up. You want to show the world how strong you are, when in reality, you don't have to b-"

"Shut up! Don't tell me what to do!" Sarah angrily interrupted Olivia. "Stop trying to act like a mom, because no mom leaves their child to be raised in a single parent household!" Sarah snapped once again, and sat back and breathed.

Olivia knew she couldn't deal with this. She wasn't cut out to be a mother, not now or ever, especially when she has to deal with this.

Olivia was about to pull into her apartment building, when she caught glimpse of Alex's car. "Shit." She let out under her breath.

Sarah was intrigued by the panic on Olivia's face. She searched for the source and smiled. "What? You have unpaid tickets?" Sarah taunted.

"Uh…" Olivia backed out of the apartment building. "Yea…Yea…Something like that." Olivia breathing was getting shallower as she had to wait for a car to back out.

"It looks as if she spotted your car…"Sarah smirked.

Olivia quickly looked back. "That's not funny," Olivia seriously replied as she saw Alex walking into the building with her phone on her hand.

Olivia's phone rang. "Hello?" Olivia answered.

"Hey baby…I am heading to your apartment…I know you said not to come, but I have a surprise for you…and I'm wearing it," Alex lustily told Olivia.

"I'm not home…I am not going to be anytime soon…So just leave the package…until I can reschedule." Olivia answered.

"What package?" Alex answered now suspicious.

"Bye." Olivia quickly shut the phone. She was hoping Sarah didn't hear what Alex was saying.

Sarah smiled to herself. The next time that lady appeared at her house she will surely make it known that Olivia was present.

**AN: Short chapter. Sorry for long no update.**


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